Before having this series of conversations with lots and lots of couples, I expected hearing something like, “I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. He did all these sweet things for me.”
Well, I did hear some of those.
However, when I dig deep enough, I hear their tales of struggles, broken hearts, doubts, secrets, and mostly how love can win.
Well, I can’t spill all the stories here and spell out their names. I promised to keep it secret (and I don’t plan to be an ugly version of Gossip Girl). However, I can share the lessons I learned here:
Every couple might not be as happy as they look.
In the back of our minds, we know that the things people post online aren’t 100% perfect. It’s curated, edited, and filtered. Yet, every day, our eyes feasted on those perfect pictures. No wonder, when we double tap, we forget that the couple has behind the scene stories.
If we talk heart to heart with every single one of them, we would be surprised to hear the cold reality. You’d realize that some of their lives may have more dramas than all Kardashian episodes put together.
Some guys are actually not fuckboys.
Due to the massive population of fuckboys, we kept running into them, then falling in, and later out of love. It’s freaking traumatic.
Some girls I talked with claimed to not even think of getting into any relationship long after that. When a guy (who she tried really hard not to like) slide into her DM, she freaked out because she might like him.
Eventually, the girl gave in and found out that the guy is not a fuckboy. He cares about her. And *gasp* he’s a husband material.
Yes, girls, we might not believe it now, but there are still nice boys out here. (For example, this man is the perfect man straight out from a John Green book.)
So, yeah. Open your heart. Give him a chance. Love is always worth the risk.
If he’s the one, you just know.
To be honest, I still don’t understand WTF does this means. I don’t understand the couples who dated for a few months before deciding to get married.
I’m totally with Elsa here.
A girl said something like this, “It’s different when I’m with him. He makes it easy. With my ex, I feel like I’m not free to talk. With my fiancé, I can talk about anything. No filter at all.”
Another girl said something like, “I’m very picky when it comes to choosing the guy to spend the rest of my life with. So does he. But when we try to get to know each other, we like (and pick) each other.”
Maybe love at the first months really does exist.
Long distance can work.
We might have to sacrifice countless hangouts just to catch up with him/her via Skype.
Being married doesn’t mean you’re out of freedom.
My grandmother, who got married really young, advised me, “Don’t get married young.”
“You’ll have one more thing to think of. You won’t feel good about leaving him home alone when you’re traveling.”
She’s right. The world is still so big. There’s still so much to explore. Since that conversation, I was against marrying young.
But then, I talked with this girl. She can still do the things you love, visit her parents, and meet with her friends. She doesn’t feel like she lost her freedom.
The key? She said, “it depends on the boy you marry.”
Fail romantic proposals are the most memorable.
The best memories are the ones in which the boy said the wrong word, forgot the song lyrics, took her to the wrong spot, and how these couples just laughed it off and planned to tell their future grandchildren about this.
Don’t be nervous. Just pop the question, dude.
Love can bloom anywhere.
You might marry the friend everybody kept teasing you with. You might marry the boy your friend can’t stop talking about (and you can’t stop trashing about). You might even fall in love with a best friend who has the same sex as you do.
Who knew? It’s totally unexpected. That’s the beauty of it.
No love story is the same.
So stop comparing.
P.S. How the h did I get to talk with these couples?
If I tell younger me that I make money from writing about dresses, foods, and love stories, she would be happy and hopeful, but she would not believe me.
It sounds too good to be true.
Nevertheless, over the last 2 years, I had the pleasure of talking with over 100 couples (to write articles for a wedding photography company and to write poetries for Tell My Tales).
It was a dream come true.